Change doesn't come easy. So don't feel like if you do everything now, everything will change today. It's hard not to feel this way with the media screaming "now now now" at you 24/7. In the past, I've always tried to do everything at once out of random shocks of epiphany (Yep, we all have those) and it simply does not work. Perhaps the first habit that I need to cultivate is patience.
Over at
High Existence, the philosophy is to practice a new habit for 30 days. Sounds great, but it only works for habits that bring "aesthetic" appeal and excitement. Like taking a photo everyday, writing someone a warm-fuzzy message everyday. I don't think I would look forward to flossing everyday for 30 days... So what's missing from flossing? What made me cringe in the face of these mundane tasks? The sense of motivation.
You've probably heard of the book
The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. In it he talks about the habit loop- a 2 part process involving a cue and a reward.
The cue is the action of the habit, and the reward is the positive feeling that you gain from carrying out the habit. Rewards trigger more cues, and cues reap more rewards. Hanging above this all, is the sense of firm belief.
There are many ways to acquiring this belief. The most effective method for me is to see a future self being able to carry out these routines. Make a schedule for your future self: meditate between 6:30- 7:00 am, exercise between 7:00-7:30 am... Think about the benefits that come from a healthy and efficient lifestyle. Think about what you will be, and become that person. Would you rather be stuck in a rut and pass for a mediocre existence, or would you rather pick yourself up and become what you're truly capable of becoming?! The former road looks pretty shady, the latter has sunbeams shooting through it. A healthier me with whiter teeth would floss, so I should too!
Ultimately, goals have to be specific and realistic in order to inspire stable motivation. This is not to say that you can't dream big- you can dream big, but do it one step at a time. Plan to acquire a new habit- like exercising 1 hour a day, and do it progressively. Start off by exercising for 5 minutes a day and it will build up by itself. More inspirations for habit investment can be found at
Zen Habits. What's great about the habit investment technique is that by adjusting the difficulty level between intervals, you can hit a sweet spot. This sweet spot is the place of moderate difficulty, not too tough, not too easy. Just enough to inspire more motivation and positive feelings.
You also need to focus on one goal at a time, or maybe a maximum of two given that one of them is more passive. (e.g., Waking earlier everyday is passive, you can run it in the background while you write a blog post every morning). Think about your focus as money, you can invest it in several things of poor quality, or you can invest in one really good thing.
For habits in which in have to avoid something (like stop eating junk food), avoid the temptation from its source (throw out all your junk food). Don't try to resist it with your mind, it will never work. Once you remove it out of your sight (especially facebook), you'll learn to live better without it.
If you end up giving into something one day, don't feel guilty about it. Guilt inspires weakness, which in turn inspires more negative habits. Cut yourself some slack once in a while, but don't loose faith in the long run. Go forward.
In short, in order to form new habits effectively, you need to
- have firm belief, and focus on positive feelings
- have a realistic and specific plan (There will be a guide coming up on this shortly, but you can do it without me) with a
focus
- cut yourself some slack once in a while, don't feel guilty or else you'll abandon the whole operation
image:
Beauty in Wonderland
"Why is it so important?" was the question I asked when my grandpa first scolded me for slouching. I thought that if I have a natural tendency to bend my spine, then I might as well stay in my slouched pose. "It's unattractive for a girl to slouch", was all that he replied. Since I didn't intend to attract anyone at the time, I allowed myself to carry on this poor posture for the next couple of years.
